andrea lynn green photography

Photography – My Dual Life

Photography is a funny thing.  I don’t really identify myself as a photographer.  It’s a hobby of mine, I hardly ever do it professionally, and I don’t see any real future in it.

Yet, somehow, I keep doing it.  More and more each month.

andrea lynn green photography

I was asked by a fellow filmmaker recently why I’m not going to sell my DSLR and buy a Black Magic Cinema camera or a C100.  It took me a long time to figure out why.  I love DSLR’s, I love the body style and the portability.  But I identify myself as a filmmaker, which means I should probably have a filmmaker’s camera, not a mutant hybrid of photography and videography.

So why do I refuse to let go of my DSLR?

A Moment from a Lens

andrea lynn green photography

For me, shooting stills has always been a byproduct of shooting video.  Photography is almost exactly like cinematography, only way easier.  Movies tell stories, and use an extended time to do it, maybe one minute, maybe ninety.  But in photography, you tell the story in one frame.  That’s it. There’s no beginning – middle – end, there is just now.  Just the moment.

It’s funny to me, because it should be harder.  I’ve told stories in two hours, it seems like telling them in one frame should be a challenge.  Honestly, it probably is, but I don’t see it that way.  To me, it’s just fun.

andrea lynn green photography

Love, Hate and Puppy Kicking

There’s an assumption that artists love what they do.  People think that every day we write or shoot or paint that we’re doing it with a smile and just having a great time.  This is, almost completely wrong.

I don’t love filmmaking.  Seriously, I don’t.  I spend equal amounts of time enjoying it, dreading it, hating it and procrastinating around it.  I don’t do it because I love it; I do it because NOT doing it is the worst feeling in the world.  Not shooting is like maliciously kicking a puppy; it’s the worst kind of self – disappointment you can imagine.

andrea lynn green photography

I’m a filmmaker because I can’t not be one.  For better or for worse, that’s the reason I do what I do; because there really isn’t another option.  I’d spend all my time cursing myself for not doing what I “love”.

The Stigma of Labels

Having spent the past eight years ridiculously devoted to filmmaking, I’ve come to identify myself as a “filmmaker”.  While the definition of this word has become rather fluid in the past two years, it still means basically the same thing: shoot and edit video to tell a story.  That story might be a narrative, a music video or a wedding, but the format is still the same.

When I left my full time job, it became an even stronger passion.  Now, because I was shooting for money, I had to work even harder and become an even better filmmaker.  I had to devote myself to the craft and live as if there was nothing else that mattered.

andrea lynn green photography

I think that, because filmmaking is my business and my livelihood at this stage, I can’t truly enjoy it.  It’s who I am, what I do and a large portion of my identity.  By creating this stigma, I’ve distanced myself from the reason I got started as a filmmaker in the first place – because I enjoyed it.

Photography – My “No Pressure” Hobby

The thing about photography is that I don’t have to do it, the way I have to make movies.  It uses the same skill set and the same tools, but I don’t hate myself for not shooting because I’m not a photographer.

Seriously, I’m not.  I just really, really enjoy it.  Like a lot.

andrea lynn green photography

I’m allowed to enjoy photography because it’s not my identity.  It’s just something I do on the side, for myself and for fun.

So the question is; if I start identifying myself as a photographer…will it stop being fun too?  I don’t know if I want to find out.

andrea lynn green photography

All the images are of actress Andrea Lynn Green.  Find out more about her here.

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